If you’ve ever gone through a breakup up, there’s one thing you’ll for sure know and experience which is that breakups can be very painful. It is painful, tough, embrassing and it’s as if you’re in an emotional rollercoaster. However, because of how highly volatile that season is, there is a high possibility for you to make more mistakes if you’re not careful.
The reality is this, after a break up it is always better to stay with the facts and not trust your emotions because you’re are already in a precarious season. However, let’s look at some of the mistakes people make after a break :
1. Begging your ex to take you back :
This is usually very common with ladies and the instinctive thing to do after a breakup. The pain and fear of being alone and starting all over after the much investment in the relationship would want to make you go back. That’s usually the first reaction. But you shouldn’t beg to go back no matter how you feel because nobody breaks up with you on the spur of a moment. They’ve thought about it, processed it and came to the conclusion long before they break the news to you.
The Crux is nobody makes such a crucial decision just in some hours, they’ve thought about it for months and have disconnected emotionally from you a long time even before finally telling you. So don’t beg to come back, you cannot really beg someone to love you when they’re not with you emotionally again. Now of course i’m not talking of a normal case when you normally catch your partner cheating.
Now assuming you begged and you come back together you’re only postponing the inevitable, because you would always be disadvantaged in the relationship because anything you start with begging would have to be sustained with begging.
You shouldn’t beg to be loved, you’re unique and special and someone out there would love to love you and treat you better.
2. Jumping into another relationship :
Revenge dating otherwise called. This happens when a person who just brokeup jumps right into another relationship to show to their ex that they are still attractive and others find them so, or because of the need to get consolation from past relationships hurt. So it’s safe to say you’ll only use others to fill your emotional void and soothe your heart ache since you now enjoy the attention they bring because it helps you deal with your past hurt. Please don’t do that!
You’re essentially using one mistake to try to correct another mistake . So don’t just jump into another relationship just after leaving your last one because you’re bound to do so owing to the fact that you feel pained, alone, lonely, feel used and generally because of the state of your mind at that moment.
What normally happens is that after you might have healed from that past hurt you’ll discover that you didn’t really love this new person, but they were only crutches to help you heal and that would be very unfair to them. Also, in the process of time, however, they too would come to know that you never loved the, and you too would also realize that you can’t stand them when you start feeling better. So don’t jump into another relationship, yet there are other ways to get healing and a relationship is not one of them.
3. Failing to learn from the experience :
Spending three years, four years even with someone and going through a tough breakup without learning anything is a total waste of time. You just have to learn something. Take your time sit down and do a total evaluation of the relationship. What did you learn? Why did the relationship break? What were the good and bad choices you made while in the relationship? Write them down so that you wouldn’t have to repeat such mistakes twice. Learning from mistakes is very crucial because we learn alot from failures most times, and that information would readily come in handy in helping you advice others who have treaded such route, especially friends.
So what were the mistake you made? Could it be that you never knew this person before committing to them or you started off on a wrong foot? There have to be a reason why the relationship ended. Take a journal, write it down because it’s so much easier for you to forget why you broke up in the first place when you are emotionally healed and better.
So in conclusion, don’t go back to your ex, don’t do revenge dating and no experience is wasted if we can learn from it.
