Oh, what a nice treat! The British High Commissioner to Nigeria, Richard Montgomery, is all praises for President Tinubu’s “impressive” security strategies. Yes, Nigeria, the land where the average citizen fears stepping outside due to rampant insecurity, is being applauded for its “excellent” safety measures. The UK even supports our government in its supposed transparency and accountability—because clearly, we’re the shining example of honesty and clarity in governance.
Montgomery made these glowing remarks at a high-level dialogue in Abuja, a grand event themed “Nigeria’s Global Ambitions: From Hope to Reality.” He couldn’t help but gush over Tinubu’s priorities and his brilliant delivery. Sure, why not? While we’re at it, let’s also ignore the National Youth Service Corps members who are terrified of kidnappers when heading to their camps. Just a minor detail, right?
He applauded Tinubu’s agenda, saying it focused on priorities and delivery.
I’d like to use this opportunity to express the whole lot of support of my government to the Renewed Hope Agenda of His Excellency, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Bola Tinubu.
“We commend his agenda for its focus on priorities and delivery. We acknowledge that you have done a lot to put in place transparency and accountability,” he stated.
Dr. Doris Nkiruka Uzoka-Anite, Minister of Industry, Trade, and Investment, joined the chorus, praising international cooperation for helping Tinubu’s “laudable” agenda. Meanwhile, the rest of us are dealing with an economy that’s a joke, where minimum wage can’t even feed a single person. But who cares about that when we’ve got “remarkable goals”?
Food prices are skyrocketing, with the cost of imported food jumping 34% in a year. But hey, let’s not let that ruin our celebration of Tinubu’s “success.” We’re too busy glorifying our suffering. Isn’t it wonderful how docile Nigerians are?
Minister of Information and National Orientation, Mohammed Idris, gave himself a pat on the back for organizing this high-level forum to reflect on Tinubu’s first year. Minister of Budget and National Planning, Alhaji Atiku Bagudu, reassured us that despite the “challenges,” Tinubu’s administration is here to renew our hope. Just look around at all the renewed hope!
Ambassador Yusuf Maitama Tuggar, represented by Dapo Oyewole, reiterated Nigeria’s unwavering commitment to international partnerships. Tinubu’s foreign policy, we’re told, will continue to be in the best interest of all Nigerians, unlocking our hidden economic treasures. Because who needs visible economic stability when we have hidden treasures?
Finally, Dr. Olasupo Olusi from the Bank of Industry praised the transformative power of strategic partnerships. Isn’t it just fantastic how our leaders can find so much to celebrate while the rest of us are busy dealing with the harsh reality of everyday life?
There you have it, dear Nigerians: our suffering, glorified and celebrated in the grandest fashion.
