Have you ever had a parent hate someone you were dating? I know how it feels and the anxiety that comes when you have to take sides with those you love. Do you love this person but feel your parents are acting seriously as a blockade to your happiness, then follow these two steps :
1. Hear Them Out First:
You have to understand that your parents want the best for you and of course, every sane parent would desire that for their children. Your parents have solid concerns about your life and well-being and of course, if they suspect that the relationship you’re into is toxic and unhealthy for you they might show their concerns by withdrawing their approval. You have to understand that when one is madly in love, the last thing one wants to hear Is the flaws of their partner( especially ladies) that’s why the phrase ” Love is blind ” speaks truth indeed because you might be treated wrongly by this person but because you’re so much in love you cannot see that they’re being unfair to you. You’re the one in love, your parent is not in love with your partner so they can always see the truth objectively. They might be able to pinpoint the warning signals long before you do. Your mom could be upset about your boyfriend’s domineering attitude when having conversations, interrupting you from talking or your dad might have overheard your boyfriend shouting at you when you were both alone and therefore could express these valid reasons out of a place of concern. You need to sit down with your parents and find out what they see in him that you don’t. Usually, moms only want the best for you. Listen to her point of view, you might see him in a new light. However, what they’re concerned about are small issues that are related to family upbringing: because of a truth we all come from different family backgrounds and what is normal might vary from family to family. If they’re minor issues such as the untidiness of your partner, uncultured way of speaking, lack of table manners, etc, you might discuss it with your partner and see how to fix things for the better.
Well if the reasons they’re giving for not liking your partner are baseless and insensitive and your friends have confirmed that also: it’s better to have a heart to heart talk with them making them see that this person truly makes you happy and disconnection from them would make you miserable. Make it clear to them that you’re the one that has to be in the relationship and marriage not them. Respectfully tell them to stop treating you as an extension of themselves. You have to make them understand that though they want what’s best for you, they have to allow you to make your own decision that strictly concerns your life and happiness which you would live with for the rest of your life. They have to understand that we are born as individuals for a reason and that your partner wasn’t designed for them to like and accept but that’s for you to do. When they see that you’re resolved and resolute about your choice and have burnt your bridges they have nothing to do but to accept. Parents just want you to do everything as they expect sometimes because of love and other times they just might be a miserable narcissists. A myriad of questions have been asked these days on this particular topic and my reply is always ‘What’s your partner saying about it: OK they don’t accept you but what’s your fiance or fiancee saying? You’re the ones that want to get married not your parents, you have to show them that you need this person as a heart needs a beat. You have to convince them.
2. Remind Your Parents That Your Partner Makes You Happy:
Finally, it’s always important to get persons who your parent respect very well (who are on your side) to talk to your parent and make them see their reasons to make your persuasion faster.
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Alabi Miracle. A law student of Ambrose Alli university Ekpoma with interest in writing.