Graduating from the university has often been seen as this monumental achievement, the last hurdle to independence, stability, and success.
Still, for most graduates, life immediately after university is not that candid. It is usually filled with a lot of confusion because it presents one of those tough journeys in which several unprepared challenges are met. Settling down, finding a job, undertaking the obligatory youth service (NYSC), and having to deal with self-doubt and pressures from society can create a complex maze of emotions and decisions.
The Struggle to Settle Down
This ideal vision of immediately getting a well-paid job and becoming independent after graduation may turn out to be soapy water. It means real life settling in involves personal challenges like finding your place to stay, managing finances, and getting a job. For many, this is compounded by pressure from family and friends who are quick to say, “Why don’t you start doing something with your life?” It is at this time that the real feeling of adulting hits, like your bills, rent (if you stay alone), and demands of everyday life.
Graduates are faced with many decisions: Should I start my career right away or invest time in acquiring other skills? Should I stay with my parents or move to another city where there is a greater scope for getting a good job? None of these decisions is easy or clear-cut, and many feel like they’re walking through life without a map.
Finding a Job: The First Major Hurdle
Job searching among graduates has to be one of the most high-stress activities there is. Most experience rejection after rejection, as most job opportunities require years of experience or connections they do not have. This is because some graduates have applied to dozens of jobs without hearing anything about them; thus, they live their life in hopelessness, worried about their future. Even the ones who manage to get a job receive very low pay or find the position quite far from what they had considered for themselves.
The economic climate also obstructs the road. Nigeria, for instance, has such a highly competitive job market whereby graduates are forced to take unpaid internships just to try to get experience.
The uncertainty of a job depresses young people, driving them toward a life of failure and frustration.
The Comparison Trap
One of the toughest things about post university life is seeing all your friends and age mates seemingly succeed when you are still stuck in one place. Often, social media exacerbates this because you get to see them post about starting their career, going on trips, getting married or being in relationships, even getting an apartment or house. Then you begin to wonder, why am I not there yet? what am i doing wrong? The frustration builds because you feel like you’re behind.
This precariously leads to feelings of inadequacy, setting off a deep feeling of low self-esteem. Comparing oneself to others becomes a slippery slope, no matter how hard one tries, they will never think they are doing enough. The irony is that no man’s journey is immaculate, but then, the comparison trap can cause emotional distress, making it hard for anyone to celebrate his or her own wins, no matter how small.
The Frustrating and Low Self-Esteem Stage
As days drag along and life seems at a standstill, many graduates enter the frustrating stage where one waits day in and day out for what seems like an eternity. As the days grow into weeks and the weeks into months of wait-and-hope situations, the more self-doubting starts to creep in.
Graduates enter into their own personal debate about self-worth and personal ability, whether or not their degree is any good, or whether or not they are good enough for anyone to hire them. Family and friends can be quite helpful in this stage, but pressure from them can contribute to the stress of not being good enough.
The Desire to Do Better: Self-improvement Phase
Many graduates, at some point, enter that phase when one wants to do better. It becomes the turning point when, despite setbacks, you invest in yourself, be it learning new skills, trying out side-hustles, or even volunteering for experience. This hunger to move forward pushes you into refining goals and re-evaluating career trajectory.
This stage comes with the renewed effort, focus on personal growth, probably going back to short courses or doing certifications for probably venturing into entrepreneurship. This is now a time when one must dare himself/herself and come out of his/her comfort zone to greater opportunities and a sense of fulfillment.
The Confusion Stage: What’s Next?
Confusion could even set in during the self-improvement phase. Many reach a point where they feel pulled in different directions, to continue down this career path or shift to another one. The pressure to find “the right path” is overwhelming. It’s like everyone else minds their own business and knows their goal in life, while you alone remain in limbo, with so much fuzziness as to what exactly to do.
This is the confusion one encounters while trying to decipher a few of life’s big questions. It’s a point of retrospection at which you may feel a little lost. It is important, though, in forming an idea of who you are and where you will finally end up. While the future might appear a little shaky, this is usually where personal epiphanies take place.
The Fear of Getting Older
Eventually, after a while, the fear of aging and not attaining these major life milestones sets in. With each birthday comes an anxiety of just turning older without being at that place in life that you want to be. This anxiety can further be heightened depending on societal expectations, most settings viewed are those of early success and early marriages that are pivotal. The pressure to “have it all figured out” by a certain age feels overwhelming.
It is that kind of phobia, which may put you in panic as if time is running out. However, it should be kept in mind that everyone has his timeline. Life isn’t a movie, and many people are doing great but unfortunately found their foothold pretty late.
Conclusion: Enjoy the Journey
It is very important to remember that these stages, though very tiring, are only temporary ones. Each fall and each confusing moment adds up to your personal and professional development.
It’s all about embracing your journey without giving in to the pressure of comparisons or societal expectations. While it is easier said than done, knowing your life is a path helps you stay grounded as you keep moving on. With persistence and patience, someday it will fall into place.
