Applying to the year 2024, dating is not for the faint hearted. The romantic landscape has changed significantly over the years and now it has become really challenging for the singles to find their partners. Influenced by advancement in technology, increased rates of expectations, and a busy world, the dating pool has become what some have likened to a “mess”. While many still hold on to the belief in love, others are progressively becoming bored with the new world of dating.
A Tough Dating Scene: Are We Missing the Mark?
The difficulties related to dating in this period were illustrated when actor Daniel Etim-Effiong shared his thoughts on the matter. “The dating pool seems like a complete mess these days. I sympathize with those trying to find love, how are they even coping?” he remarked.
This settled in the tone of many singles who seem to find dating to be very overwhelming. In response to his reflection, fans were very quick with their complaints and frustrations about how difficult it is for singles to find their right partner.
But beyond the exhaustion, what is truly going wrong with dating in this 21st century? Are singles really trying, or is our system just flawed?
Why Singles Struggle
Among various complaints about today’s people, one of the most common comments from singles is that the present generation has ceased to be willing to invest its time and energy into building a well-lasting relationship. In this regard, dating apps and social media have made such connectivity to other people transactional for some, including the reduction of romance to a series of superficial swipes and matches.
As Sandra explained, “We’re lazy. Relationships take work, and a lot of people aren’t up to that these days. Everyone is so quick to move on to the next option. It’s so much easier to blame the dating pool rather than taking responsibility for our own part in the process.”.
This lack of effort, coupled with unrealistic expectations, does indeed spell disappointment. Many singles are raising the bar to impossible heights-seeking perfection rather than pursuing compatible, real-world connections. The burden of finding “the one” is heavier than ever, yet for some, in the pursuit of perfection, blindsides them to genuine opportunities at love.
Are Expectations Too High? Are You Setting Yourself Up for Failure by Expecting Perfection in a Partner?
In today’s dating world, we often ask ourselves: Are we expecting too much from our partners?
Take Tolu’s experience, for example: “I used to have a checklist of everything my partner had to be: ambitious, wealthy, caring, emotionally available, and fun. But I realized that I was setting myself up for failure. No one can tick all the boxes. It’s about finding someone whose imperfections you can live with.”
For some, like David, the issue lies elsewhere: “It’s not about perfection. It’s about effort. People want relationships without doing the work. It’s all about instant gratification now, and when things get tough, people walk away.”
Is Technology to Blame for the Mess?
Technology revolutionized how we relate to one another, but it may also be complicating our relationships. While dating apps were convenient, they fostered a sense of disposability. One can make a match in a few seconds and talk to that person for just as much time.
Rachel, aged 32, testified, “I think technology has made dating more difficult. We are connected yet lonely. The dating apps make it so easy to discard people without even getting to know them well enough. It is hard finding somebody serious when the next match is just a swipe away.
This is one of the major reasons why relationships seem harder to maintain, the overdependence on technology.
Speed and efficiency, when dating apps are involved, barely leave room for deep emotional connections to flourish. Instead of nurturing it, one finds oneself in this constant loop of searching for something new, something better, someone more exciting.
Can Effort Still Lead to Love?
Despite the frustrations, many singles still hold onto hope. Some believe that a little more effort from both sides can make all the difference. The sentiment was echoed by Daniel stating, “It’s exhausting as it is now. I look forward to good people introducing good singles to each other. Outside is exhausting, and people no longer want to put in the effort.”
This view suggests that perhaps singles need to take a step back and re-evaluate their approach to dating. Rather than relying solely on apps or quick fixes, maybe the answer lies in genuine human connections, through friends, family, or social groups.
Question for Reflection: Is the Problem Technology or Effort?
For others, the fault does not lie completely with technology. “It’s not that dating apps are bad,” some say. “It’s just that people aren’t willing to put in the work once they match. If you’re serious about finding love, you’ll make the effort to see beyond the profile picture and the quick chat. But if you’re only half-invested, then you’re going to keep swiping.
Contrarily, some others disagree: “Dating apps make people feel like they have too many options. You don’t give one person enough time before thinking you find someone better. That illusion of abundance is what makes people quit the relationship too fast”.
Is Traditional Dating the Answer?
One surprising answer to this modern dating dilemma is simply an idea of old-fashioned matchmaking. In the past, many people were introduced to their spouses because of the involvement of family or a friend, or even within their community. Could reverting back to these traditional roots be the answer when dating apps are not providing that emotional depth some may need?
Etim-Effiong hinted at this when he said, “I look forward to good people introducing good singles to each other.” This rather old-fashioned method might seem antiquated, yet it worked for generations before us.
As we ponder on this, a question to ask ourselves is: Should we trust our social circles more when it comes to finding love?
“There’s something real in meeting someone through a friend or family member. You know they’ve been approved for you and there’s already some level of trust. So it is more organic than the kind of conversations we are forced to have on dating apps”, 28-year-old chinwe says.
Conclusion: Can We Fix Dating in 2024?
As dreadful as dating may be in 2024, love itself is not dead yet. The future of love might lie not in giving up the technology but finding a balance that can use both convenience and deep, human connections to build relationships.
As we face the harsh realities of the dating pool, we need to ask ourselves, Are we willing to put in the effort required to make relationships last? Or will the dating scene remain a mess?
Ultimately, it’s up to each individual to determine what they want and how much they’re willing to invest. To many, love may be tough in 2024, but with the right mindset, it’s far from impossible.
