Love is in the air, but so is the pressure! Valentine’s Day just passed, and while gifts were flying, many women face a different kind of pressure: getting married young. Why is this the case, and what’s behind it all? It’s a relatable topic, isn’t it? Whether you’re single, rocking a new engagement ring, or somewhere in between, this question probably weighs on you and your community.
Marriage as the Ultimate Milestone?
In many societies, including parts of Nigeria, marriage is seen as a huge achievement for women, even more than other accomplishments. It’s like a social expectation that hangs heavy, especially for women over a certain age who haven’t yet walked down the aisle.
But why? It boils down to a mix of historical and cultural reasons. Traditionally, marriage meant security, social status, and stability for women. Plus, gender roles dictated that a woman’s main purpose was to be a wife and mother, making marriage seem essential for happiness.
But wait! Times have changed. While marriage can be wonderful, it’s not a guarantee of fulfillment, especially if you haven’t found it within yourself first.
The Pressure Cooker: Gender Roles and Society’s Expectations
Even with progress in gender equality, the link between a woman’s worth and her marital status persists. This narrow view overshadows women’s individual aspirations, ambitions, and unique paths. Think about it, have you ever heard the phrase, “All that money, but still not married”? It’s subtle, but it reinforces the pressure.
Culture plays a big role too. Family traditions, cultural norms, and expectations about lineage, reproduction, and societal acceptance can weigh heavily on women’s choices. Fear of judgment and disapproval can lead them to conform, even if it means going against their desires.
Economics also come into play. Traditionally, marriage offered women financial security and stability. While things are changing, financial considerations can still influence societal expectations and pressure women to seek a partner for economic stability. But hold on! Women are increasingly making their own money and shattering stereotypes, so this point is evolving.
Loneliness and the Stigma Trap
The fear of being alone and judged for being unmarried, especially as they age, can also influence women’s decisions. Society tends to view single women with skepticism or pity, perpetuating stereotypes and fostering a sense of inadequacy. This fear can lead them to settle for less-than-ideal relationships or rush into marriages to avoid negativity.
Esther’s Insight: A Different Perspective
I spoke with Adewusi Esther Opeyemi, a law student with a unique perspective and some wise words.
“Today, women prioritize careers more and more. They want to climb the ladder, and early marriage and babies can get in the way. Society needs to respect and support these choices. Women’s journeys are complex, just like men’s!”
Plus, science is on our side! Egg freezing lets women manage their timelines, aligning with modern life. This gives them career flexibility and challenges the old “marriage and babies now” narrative. ❄️
For a more inclusive society, we need to ditch outdated beliefs and support women’s choices. Whether they marry young, focus on careers, or find a balance, their choices deserve respect and celebration.”
Marriage: Celebrate Choice, Not Pressure.
Marriage is a beautiful choice, one that should be made freely and on your own terms. Celebrate your achievements, learn from your experiences, and become the best version of yourself. Only then can you truly find someone who appreciates your worth for who you are, not for societal expectations.
Remember, your timeline is yours to own. Embrace your journey, challenge limitations, and empower yourself to define your own happily ever after.
Happy Valentine’s week (and every other day) to all who celebrate love, in all its forms!
