Have you ever had that very uncomfortable thought flash through your mind and you tried resisting it? Maybe you even said a quick prayer while at it just to calm your nerves.
The fact that you have so much hope and belief in this particular relationship, hoping that it can lead to the dotted lines makes it even scarier for you but the feeling just won’t go away.
You even resolved to do more, show more love and commitment to the relationship with the hope that if you turn up the heat, it will re-convince him to stay in the relationship. It usually never works.
The simple truth is; do not shove these thoughts away, your instincts are there for a reason, so do not compete against it. Rather, let it be a guide so you do not waste valuable time on a relationship that is heading for the rocks.
To help you come to this realization soon enough, these are 3 simple signs you should look out for in your relationship. This list is not the entire bag, but it will set you on a clear path without wasting too much energy.
- He prefers to stay at home:
Have you seen a kid who was just given a new bicycle? He immediately wants to go “show-off” his new ride to his friends. This law still works even for adults. Any guy who feels you’re a worthy possession will definitely want others to see.
It’s worse if he used to go out with you before, but now does not want any outings together with you! My sister, run.
By just staying at home with you, he can get the pecks of being in a relationship like company, sex etc which gives an impression that you both are on but the truth is you aren’t.
He shouldn’t be using you to satisfy his urges without a corresponding show of faith and commitment to you and the relationship. Consider this very carefully if you’re in such a relationship and see what options you have.
2. You’re clearly not a priority:
This can go both ways though; so let me start from you. Is he your top priority? Will you put him first above friends, work and even family sometimes? If your answer is YES, then he should do same for you.
So does he? I mean, does he treat you with the same energy or vigor? Can he pick you above these set of people you gladly do for him?
For a relationship to thrive, there should be a balance in the energy given and taken, when one side is given too much, it usually leads to an empty tank, hence, the crash.
Step back a little and analyze instances where opportunities have presented itself for him to choose you over the rest, did he? Only you can answer that question, but if he consistently picks others over you, then clearly you are not a top priority.
3. Missing In Action:
I know that sounds like a military term or action movie, but it’s to show how serious this is. Does your man have the habit of disappearing without a clear instruction or information on where he is going or has been?
What of your text messages and calls? If he only replies or picks your calls at a “convenient” time and not as at when you want to speak to him, then it is a red flag you should not ignore.
Excuses and more excuses are always handy whenever you raise the issue or complain. Some might even tell you to stop calling but only at a particular time, day or period. The question is: Why?
If he truly wants to be with you and misses you whenever you are not together, then he should take every opportunity he has to talk to you and not ignore them. You will not believe the number of excuses guys come up with when they do not want to talk or pick-up the call. From “I was too far away from my mobile”, “I was too tired to call back”, “I totally forgot”.
Like I said in my intro, this list is not entirely exhaustive as there are many red flags that have been identified globally, but this 3 will definitely give you an idea where the relationship is heading.
In our quest to have a world free from pain of heart breaks and other emotionally related matters, we continue to make this sort of information available to help vulnerable ladies as they pilot their way through singlehood.
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Abel Alasan is a creative writer with over 6 years creating contents for blogs, magazines and documentary projects. His areas of interest ranges from politics, lifestyle, family/parenting and sports.