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Relationship Abuse: What many do not know

Relationship Abuse: What many do not know

It is often said that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse becomes inevitable. Just as it isn’t advisable for anyone to buy a car if he doesn’t know the purpose because he might either destroy it or it would destroy him. The same principle applies to clothes and other valuables, how much more relationships. Certainly, if you don’t know the purpose for a relationship, please don’t enter one. Entering a love relationship with a girl or guy without a definite propelling purpose in mind would only result in abuse, manipulation and untold harm to the relationship and the other partner involved. 

A love relationship is a romantic friendship relations between persons of the opposite sex with a targeted aim of such relationship leading to marriage. So, relationship is a means to an end not an end itself, but it’s so saddening that lots of youngsters are treating it as an end in itself. I believe that no one leaves his house and embarks on a journey with no destination in mind, so also if you’re not ready for marriage, it’s better you don’t start dating at first (don’t taste what you don’t want to eat) because what we see umpteen times is that vast majority of those in relationships are not certain if they would get married to their partner, and some are even going as far as praying for their partner to marry them. 

This only goes to show that they are dating for the wrong reasons, thereby committing relationship abuse. “Let’s see how it goes” is usually their popular slang. Well, the Holy Bible says that when there is no vision the people perish.  It also says, “Write the vision, make it plain, that he who reads it might run”.  If there is no vision of marriage you can’t run the relationship well as opposed to having a  definite vision of marriage, which would therefore mean to the exclusion of some practices and some self-gratifying act that might destroy the relationship.  The reality is, a relationship that doesn’t stand for something of value like marriage would fall for just anything.  

Both partners would only just be having sex till they get tired and end the relationship because visionlessness brings stagnation, and stagnation brings tiredness which in turn cause both partners to get exhausted with themselves and start saying ” we’re no longer feeling each other, we are tired of ourselves”, because if a vehicle has no direction the ride becomes boring. 

 The dating period is when we learn to know each other better, be better friends, ask questions, learn to love each other in preparation for marriage. The relationship isn’t a trial and error game, a destination should be in mind, hence, you’ll wind up in Babylon (confusion).

 In the addendum, there are several mythologies surrounding relationships and how they ought to function. From the movies we watch to fictional books we read, our mind creates a fantasy of what relationships should look like or a certain feeling one should have towards someone that they are going into a relationship with.

People say, ”I have butterflies in my tummy”, or “I feel a spark”, or “I have strong feelings for him or her” in layman terms. Butterflies have a short life span, and sparks are short bright lights, so why would one want to make a lifelong decision based solely on temporary and unstable feelings?

It is completely okay to have these feelings, however, sparks do not run relationships. What one should consider is having a meaningful understanding, commitment, shared interests, mutual respect and good friendship with your partner – these are real qualities that sustain a relationship.

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