Managing long distance relationship can be quite easy to commence, but very difficult to maintain. It is usually not advised by experts because of its volatile nature, and the concept of relationship and marriage which is totally adverse to distance, hence, reinforcing the need for proximity.
All throughout the holy Bible, the idea of nearness is always juxaposed with relationship and marriage as seen in Ecclesiastes 4:11 which says , “if two lie together, then they have heat. But how can one be warm alone”? Verse 9,10-12 also speaks on the idea of closeness in relation to relationship and marriage.
Secondly, long distance relationship is very demanding and as such not everyone can handle its demands and stress. Raising kids and coordinating the home can be very tasking for just one partner in marriage, and as such long distance relationship should be avoided as much as possible.
Thirdly, Gary Chapman an American world renowned clergyman, marriage counselor and radio talk show host who taught on love languages, gave the world an exposure into how we give an receive love. He further highlighted five love languages (which is simply based on how we individuals receive love or perceive love to be ) are:
- Acts of services : which is simply services we render to our partner out of love for them
- Quality time
- Giving gifts
- Words of affirmation
- Non sexual touch
Now considering all these five love languages, we would discover that some like Gifts and words of affirmation can be done from a long distance but the remaining, necessarily cannot. So it’s always good to know your type of person and know what works for you, to know if you can handle long distance relationship or not because the reality is this: some can handle it properly, while others cannot. If for example, your love language is non-sexual touch, like hugging, holding of hands etc, long distance relationship would be totally unsuitable for you because out of sight for you would be out of mind.
However, long distance relationship is not an herculean task, or a situation of making bricks without straws. It is doable if both partners agree to follow the simple steps outlined below :
- Both must agree to put in the work : The both parties must be clear on the fact that it’s not a nominal relationship and as such should be ready or agree to put in the work, and also be sensitive to each others body language.
- Communication : communication as they say is the life blood of every relationship, and at such one cannot do a long distance relationship without good communication skills. You obviously cannot leave communications to chance as it is the only medium by which you can bridge the gap in a long distance relationship. So keeping in touch is very important. You both must negotiate and agree on fixed times to be communicating, that would be suitable for you both. There are persons who like talking everyday while others can’t handle that. So it can be once in two days or three days, or even once a week based on the agreement, but personally I think anything longer than three days is dangerous for a long distance relationship. Conversely, when anyone of their partner is breaking the fixed time and patterns without a suitable reason, then that is a sign that it can’t work.
- Transperancy : Trust is one of the biggest issues in long distance relationship. Trust as they say it’s not demanded but earned. If you desire to be trusted by your partner, you have to show past records of your trustworthiness and work towards cementing it by going the extra mile to doing video calls to let your partner know where you are and those around you. You should also introduce your friends to your partner, and let your partner have their contacts to call in case of knowing your whereabouts too.
Conclusively, following this guide as presented would really help in equipping you in managing a long distance relationship.
