In the midst of debates on rape issues, I found myself at the center of an unsettling experience in the market. A man crossed the line, and when I spoke up, I was told to feel grateful because it meant he liked me. It struck me hard—what kind of men are we nurturing? Men who disregard a woman’s dignity? This incident, just one among many, reflects our troubling culture.
A Woman’s Daily Minefield
Sunny Unekwu’s words resonate deeply: being a woman in Nigeria feels like navigating a minefield. Harassment, assault, and even death seem like constant threats. The average Nigerian man often sees a woman’s body as his property, free to touch without consent or respect.
The Upbringing of Boys
The roots of this issue lie in the patriarchal nature of Nigerian homes. Boys are often treated as mini versions of their fathers, exempted from household chores and raised with reverence. But what about the girl child? She faces harsh expectations, pressured to be flawless or face criticism about her future as a wife. This unequal treatment shapes boys to believe in their superiority over women.
It’s Not About Blaming Boys
Let’s be clear; there are incredible men out there. However, we can do better in raising our boys. Eradicating this unequal upbringing, where boys are given more freedom while girls are constrained, is essential. We’re fostering a belief that women owe men their existence, perpetuating a cycle of inequality.
The Celebration of Male Birth
The preference for male children perpetuates this cycle. Women are often devalued for not bearing sons. I know someone whose mother kept having children until she had a boy, as if her worth was tied solely to giving birth to a male. This preference affects how boys perceive themselves and their entitlement.
Empowering Our Daughters
Our approach in guiding our daughters also needs a revamp. We need to instill in them the belief that they can be more than just the supporters in relationships. Women like Mo Abudu, making waves globally, or Funke Akindele’s cinematic success, showcase what girls can achieve when given the chance.
Changing the Paradigm
How do we shift this narrative? By challenging the unequal division of labour at home, promoting equal responsibilities among genders, and recognizing domestic work’s value in the economy. Also, it involves breaking stereotypes, advocating for women’s access to male-dominated professions, and ensuring fair treatment in the workforce.
This culture we’re embedded in isn’t just about the stories; it’s about reshaping mindsets, transforming upbringing, and advocating for equality. It’s about nurturing a generation where respect, equality, and opportunity are the norm, not exceptions.
Three Gbosa for Families Raising Champions!
Families that prioritize equitable upbringing for both boys and girls deserve commendation. By nurturing children without gender bias, these families contribute significantly to society. They cultivate an environment where boys learn to respect and value women as equals, rather than seeing them as inferior. Simultaneously, they empower girls to strive for success based on their capabilities and efforts, rather than viewing womanhood as an excuse to evade hard work. Such families set an example, fostering a generation that understands and practices equality, ultimately paving the way for a more balanced and fair society.
