Time has a way of slipping through our fingers. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years and in that process of daily hustle and bustle, we seem to overlook one of the most valuable assets we have – Our Family.
Perhaps, the day-to-day conversations we mock, the visits we delay, the calls we ignore now, are likely to be a source of unbearable grief when our dear ones are gone. One should prioritize and take care of the family now while one has the time to do that and not be full of regrets when they are gone after death.
Sarah’s Story: A Daughter’s Unspoken Regrets
Sarah, an only child to a widower, has always had affection towards her father. He was a hero as far as she was concerned. He was the man who took her through the basics of riding a bicycle, he was the man who assisted her with her homework, he was the man to whom she entrusted all of her fears and her dreams.
As life most often is though, things began to get more complicated with time as Sarah got older. She landed a job in a different city, became busy with work and other commitments, and the once weekly visits to her parents’ home became monthly, then annual. Her father would call her to enquire when she could come over to visit, and Sarah would always find a way around it; she was busy with work, she had other plans, or she was tired after work.
She consoled herself there that there will be another time, that she will come to see him next weekend or over the holidays. But one day, Sarah got a phone call on the life-altering event. Her father had suffered a heart attack, and with no one to assist him to the hospital, he died, just like that. The news overwhelmed her as if it were a tidal wave and she found herself drowning in the feelings of loss, all alone in his house filled with all traces of him.
She would never again listen to his consoling voice, touch him, or be with him, sharing lives which they used to lead. This hurt was further amplified by the guilt that she wasn’t present when he died. She knew all the times that she could have visited, that she could have spared more time and been with him.
Sarah realized too late that nothing; no job, no social event, no amount of rest, was worth the time she lost with her father. The regret of not being there for him became a weight she carried with her every day.
The Busy Man’s Regret
Tunde, a successful executive working in one of the commercial hubs in Nigeria-Lagos was a workaholic. Due to his job, he works long hours and travels a lot, leaving him little time for his wife Amaka, and son Chinedu. Amaka often felt lonely and wanted Tunde to have more time for her and their son, but he was always busy.
Weekends were always spent recuperating from the week’s toil, and family vacations were always put off for ‘another time.’ Amaka would often express her loneliness, telling her husband how she and their son missed having him around and Tunde always reassured her, saying, “I’m doing this for us. I’ll make it up to you both soon.”
One evening, Tunde was working late at the office as usual when he saw missed calls from Amaka. Assuming that it was quite a small matter, he decided to wait and call her later on. A few minutes later, another call was received, this time from an unknown number. He picked up, and his world in one moment collapsed.
Amaka and Chinedu had been involved in a gruesome car accident on their way to visit him at work. The pair were trapped in a car that had been struck by a speeding truck, and suffered multiple critical injuries. Tunde ran to the hospital; stomach gnawing in fear and regret. As the doctor saw him, he hurried to him with a sad expression. Amaka and Chinedu had both died before Tunde could ever be able to tell them that he was sorry.
This was heart wrenching to Tunde, and he began to see the bitter truth in not spending quality time with his family due to work commitment. The fame and fortune he had attained now seemed to be meaningless in the absence of his loved ones. The feeling of not being able to spend time with his family when he had the time to, if not for work, was a burden he would have to live with for the rest of his life.
The Message: Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late
The experiences of both Sarah and Tunde are tragic, as people tend not to cherish their loved ones and think that there will always be an opportunity to make up for lost words and actions. Yet, life is never certain and who knows the moment when we lose the ones we love the most. We are inclined to let things be, to not bother calling someone up or visiting a friend, and before we know it, we miss our shot at making things right and wind up with regret for the rest of our days.
Do not allow the hustle and bustle of life drain you of things that are essential in life. Prioritize your family now. Spend as much time as possible with your parents, your lovers, your brothers, your sisters, your kids. Go see them, call them, show up for them, not merely whenever you can or would like to, but always. Remind them that you love them and they are important through your presence and not necessarily by large demonstrations and gifts.
For when they are gone, no amount of success, no uncompleted business, no tight schedule can console you. The only thing that will count is moments that you have spent with them, moments that you have shared with them and the moments of love that touched their hearts. Do not wait until it is too late to see that. Devote yourselves to your families now so that you can do the very best you can for them before the opportunity is gone.
