You have been single for three years or a lot more than that. It is not that you have not approached by interested men. I would not dare dignify the situation by use of the word “prospective” because that would mean thinking about it and there would eventually be a pity party which we are trying to avoid.
Living in a society where a man is thought to be the reason for the existence of a woman and coming to the realization that a woman can live for herself can be really tough and lonely. So how do you remain sane and happy despite all this?
First and most important of all, you have to be intentional about everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Every thought and action from the moment you wake up till you fall asleep has to be intentional.
Be intentional about how you speak to yourself. A lot of us women don’t know this but how you speak to yourself matters a whole lot. Do not speak down to yourself. When you do not speak negatively to yourself, you will not allow anyone to do that to you. Practice affirmations every morning. Dress right. Get your hair done regularly. Get your nails done. Have a skincare routine. Go on dates by yourself or with your girls. Plan solo trips. The list of things to do is endless.
Have you thought about living on your own? Even if it just for a few years. You need to experience a life where you are totally responsible for yourself. And when you hit 35, you should not be living with your parents. At that age, you have most definitely come into your own and two captains cannot command a ship. Make sure you do not live slovenly. Have proper furniture and curtains. Even if you still live with your parents, fix up your room. That is your space and your space should bring your peace and serenity. If you need help fixing up your space, Pinterest is your best friend.
Take care of your health: Exercise, eat healthy (Remember to set aside a day or two for cheat days. This life na one), take supplements. Go for checkups every six months or at least one in a year. Observe your body and know yourself. Once you hit 30, your body would not be the same as what it was in your 20’s. Even if they are slight, there would still be changes.
What are the little rituals you do to make yourself happy? If you don’t have one yet, try a couple of routines, rituals and figure out the ones that give you the most joy. It could be as simple using white towels or having new bedsheets whenever you feel blue.
Work on your career. What are the knowledge and skills you need to climb the ladder faster? There are lot of online courses that you can take, free or not. If you are an entrepreneur, what are you doing to develop your business? Are you still providing free services to family and friends? Have you applied for the Tony Elumelu Grant?
And on the days when your feelings get the better of you, don’t fight it. Take a break if you can from your usual routine and Feel all of it. Then move on from it. You are human and life is not 100 percent happiness.
If you keep waiting for someone before you start ticking off your bucket list, you would wake up one day and realize so much time has passed and you can’t have it back.
Love yourself Fiercely. Like you are being paid to do so.
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Halimah is a firm believer that the education and empowerment of women are essential tools for lasting peace and progress in our society and that women should be allowed to pursue whatsoever path they choose. Born and raised in Nigeria, she has been described as "outspoken,energetic and diligent". Her passion for social change has led her to volunteer at a number of organizations that are passionate about having a tangible impact on society. Halimah currently works as an Assistant lecturer at the Department of Library and Information Technology,Federal University of Technology, Minna, Nigeria. She hopes to establish a mentoring program to provide young girls and women with proper guidance to make informed choices aimed at personal fufillment. She relaxes by reading and watching movies.