Being in a long distance relationship can be challenging.
Long distance relationships (LDR) are romantic, or sometimes platonic friendships where the dating couples live in different and far geographical locations.
Sometimes, people start off their relationships in proximity to each other then work, school, family or even the search for greener pastures lead one partner away from their current location.
Before the Internet age, people had pen pals from all over the world, and engaged in non-intimate long distance relationships. Thanks to the Internet, social media and dating apps, there is more access to other people from different parts of the world.
However, long distance relationships aren’t restricted to just writing messages, now with the aid of Virtual Reality and video calling, partners can create activities to help them feel less lonely and bored.
A study showed that bout 40% of long distance relationships fail, 40% is a daunting number and it’s easy to see why people are reluctant to enter.
Some of the main reasons for this failure are:
Long distance or not, lack of proper communication is a huge threat to a lot of relationships. The added strain of not being able to have physical conversations may make a partner feel like they are talking to a brick wall.
Lack of physical sex
A lot of people in long distance relationships are sexually active, they want regular sex. Some people have physical touch as their love language and want to be able to cuddle and do public display of affection, there is absolutely no reason why such a person should be in a long distance relationship as they might seek the fulfillment of their physical needs away from their partners to the detriment of the relationship.
No clear plan to move in together
The endgame for most relationships is to be together eventually, when partners are vague about making the relationship more legitimate or permanent the other partner tends to become fraught with concerns about if they are being taken seriously.
In a monogamous long distance relationship, cheating is a huge no. The guilty partners sometimes attribute it to being lonely and needing intimacy but even that is not excuse enough.
In all, relationships have their hurdles regardless of if they are in the same geographical location or living on opposite ends of the earth, it is important to understand the direction that relationship is headed.
Having a mutual understanding of where you’re going will help you work towards a common goal and can help solidify the feeling of growing in that relationship.
Trust is an absolute must; there is no reason to be with someone you won’t be able to see for months or weeks if you will spend all that time agonizing about what they are doing behind your back.
In order not to feel stifled in your LDR, make use of gestures such as buying and sending gifts, letters, planning trips together, the thrill of getting together after a long time is undefeated.
You can go on virtual dates, have movie nights, video calls — the possibilities are endless, make the most of your time and be among the successful 60%.
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Winnie Dashe is a fashion designer with a penchant for books and storytelling. She enjoys living vicariously through other people's relationship tales and this is reflected in the topics she choses to write about. When she isn’t asking questions and making notes about people’s affairs, she is trying to perfect a food recipe or fabric hunting.