Some months ago, a video of an allegedly 10 years old girl rocked the internet showcasing her performing some pornographic feats on another under teen student that only sex experts are known to do that well. Lots of comments from different people poured out online as a lot of people bemoan the acts and find it as a moral decadence of the family in training up their wards (Children) properly. Hence the need for a healthy child sex education in the nation.
Children in today’s world are way smarter and more intelligent than before: and with the advent of TV, the internet, and growth in technology kids are now really in touch with the outside world far away from them than before.
A lot of African parents find it inappropriate and even feel disgusted when discussing the topic of sex with their wards and usually because of the emotional distance between most African parents and their children, they’re usually very oblivious of what is going on with the sexual life of their kids. But most parents and intending parents need to note the following point:
Firstly, your kids are going to hear about sex, from their peers, from the internet, and by watching the television. But in being the first source of education on sex you are making sure that they receive the correct information and most importantly, that they know how you feel and think about it.
Secondly, is that you are predominantly influencing what your kids will someday do about sex. Kids that properly receive good sex education are more likely to stay off sex in their teenage years and post-teenage years. It would also help them to avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections that come with unprotected and premarital sex.
Sex education has significantly changed since we were kids. As a parent, you can’t simply just do sex education with a momentary one-off discussion with vague answers. However vague answers might be suitable for toddlers and preschoolers who might not probe further but might just get satisfied with your answer. But school-age children tend to ask more specific questions about the relationship between their sexuality and making babies.
As your child’s questions become more disturbing and likely more embarrassing, he or she might turn to friends or other sources of information to get answers to their questions.
Areas to address
1. Puberty:
Explain thoroughly what takes place during puberty for both teen boys and girls. And explain to them that what they feel and the wet dreams they have are normal. Also,
reassure them that kids of the same age mature at different rates especially when they start thinking they’re abnormal when they see discrepancies in growth rate between them and their peers. Puberty might start years earlier or later for some children, but certainly, everyone catches up.
2. Regular sex education:
Regular everyday moments are ready opportunities to discuss sex with your wards and intimate them with the topic. You can teach sex every day using situations and circumstances that pop up everywhere. If the family is pregnant, talk about how a baby is being formed and developed in a woman’s womb. If you see a commercial on TV for a female hygiene product, use it as an opportunity to talk about periods. If the family is watching a movie and a couple marries in the movie exchanging kisses and warm hugs: it provides you the opportunity to talk about dating relationships and falling in love.
Be very proactive about this area of your child’s life. Encourage your child to take good care of his or her body, develop healthy self-respect for themselves and others and also educate yourself from trusted sources so that you can have ready answers for their questions. Your proactiveness and interest in sex education can help your child develop healthy lifelong sexuality.
3. Accountability and consequences :
Have a heart-to-heart talk with your child about the emotional and physical implications of premarital sex such as pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and heartbreak. Holding such a discussion on these issues with your child would greatly help in arming your child with self-control in avoiding being pressured to become sexually active before marriage.
While you’re telling your child about the consequences of pride-marital sex, don’t be scared to point out the joys and excitement too. Let your child know that sex can be beautiful and enjoyable in a legitimately loving relationship ( marriage).
