Once upon a time, I used to think that if I loved hard enough, people would truly see me and love me and everything would be a fairytale. But each time I loved, they didn’t see me and my heart got shattered into more pieces. I am a major Bollywood fan. If you watch Bollywood; you would know the kind of person I am. I am a Proper Hopeless Romantic. The good thing is that compared to five/six years ago, I see the flaws in love now though.
I have been watching “Zarah’s Nikkah” on Zee World and today’s episode was downright annoying. After Kabir had practically told Zarah off and Zayn (A very fine Zayn) wanted to marry her, Zarah was still contemplating marrying him because she still had eyes for Kabir. Why? Why? Why? Very few men would hang on to a woman who had practically rejected them but this is still a norm with women. Do we not have the same heart? Does heartbreak hurt less for women that we subject ourselves to this suffering time and time again? How does continuous suffering make one noble? How did women get to the point where love is romanticized as suffering?
Love is supposed to be feelings of affection, kindness, protectiveness and respect for another person, wanting to see the other person happy and not overwhelming sadness, grief and tears.
So why do many women express these emotions when they speak about their partners? How is it a woman’s responsibility to make a person love? How is it a woman’s fault if a person can’t love her the way she deserves to be loved? In what holy book or societal law does it state that a woman can’t go on to find love from someone else because the person she initially had feelings for didn’t reciprocate those feelings?
I recently learned to love who loves me.
Most times, we are so busy trying to gain the affections of a person who doesn’t really like us that we miss seeing the person who really does like us. We have at one point or the other had affection for a person who did not feel the same way about us. It is high time that women begin to accept that these things happen. Life is not always going to be a smooth sail. There will be some waves along the way. Once you have accepted that this person does not reciprocate your affection, you also need to accept that it is okay for a person to not have feelings for you just because you do. And it is okay to hurt. Hurt as much as you want. Cry. Be angry in fact. Take all the time you need to process the situation. When you have gotten to the point where you can look back without any form of bitterness, move on. Go outside and meet the people who are more than happy to love you. I didn’t say you should follow any tom, dick and harry o. Give true love a chance. Give happiness a chance.
What's Your Reaction?
Halimah is a firm believer that the education and empowerment of women are essential tools for lasting peace and progress in our society and that women should be allowed to pursue whatsoever path they choose. Born and raised in Nigeria, she has been described as "outspoken,energetic and diligent". Her passion for social change has led her to volunteer at a number of organizations that are passionate about having a tangible impact on society. Halimah currently works as an Assistant lecturer at the Department of Library and Information Technology,Federal University of Technology, Minna, Nigeria. She hopes to establish a mentoring program to provide young girls and women with proper guidance to make informed choices aimed at personal fufillment. She relaxes by reading and watching movies.