The foundation of your relationship largely affects the outcome of your marriage, and a crucial but commonly overlooked factor that contributes to a healthy marriage is FRIENDSHIP.
The benefits of building and nurturing a meaningful friendship with someone before deciding to go into a relationship with them cannot be overemphasized.
When we take a deep look into most of our parent’s marriages In Africa, Nigeria in view, we would discover that most of our parents cannot sit and talk as friends making their marriages look dry, boring and undesirable. A married woman was once talking to someone and she said something very brilliant that would have obviously helped her marriage big time, and when told to relate it to her husband, she was so apprehensive saying she doesn’t know how her husband would take it. You would obviously know that she talks to her husband like a student talking to her principal in school. I know that this is really laughable but it’s the sad reality. Most persons just meet and between some months they’re already talking about marriage without thinking of building a solid friendship relationship between themselves which would actually be the spice of their married life.
Inadvertently, it’s very clear that when people of the opposite sex meet and they’re in desperation to marry, most especially ladies, they tend to love the idea of marriage more than their partner. That’s why the saying “Don’t Marry a girl or guy and try to make her your friend, but out of your friends pick a wife or husband” is very accurate. When the chips are down, only real and solid friendship can fuel intimacy in the marriage when feelings are out and sexual urges are off.
It is clear from the foregoing that the role of friendship in building a long lasting relationship and marriage cannot be overemphasized. We do have 24 hours in a day, assuming you have sex for one hour everyday, you pray for one hour with your partner, what would you be doing for the remaining 22 hours if not talk? That’s why you should and must marry your friend, marriage is till death do you both apart, and that’s a long time. When i see old couples having fun, I sometimes wonder ‘what can be their secret?’ They certainly are no longer having sex or is there any romantic feeling of sort, but they’re still strong together. Then I discovered that the secret was Friendship. Do not marry someone you’re scared to talk to, that wouldn’t be a healthy marriage that you would have but a dry and unwholesome marriage et impacting your kids also with the same dry ideology for friendship in relating with the opposite sex.
Moreso, especially for the guys, Instead of going all out to ask a girl out one week after meeting her, take your time to have conversations with her, bond over things you both enjoy, share experiences and learn more about each other. This forges transparency and a strong emotional intimacy between both parties that will be carried into the marriage, and will help sustain the marriage on days that may be rough.
Is your spouse your friend? How well do you know your spouse and answer questions about them? Do you spend time with your spouse and enjoy each other’s company? Is your spouse afraid to have a conversation with you about their concerns?
A friend loves at all times and there is nothing a true friend will not do for you, so, having your spouse as your friend is one important secret to enjoying all the good things marriage has to offer.
