“what would you do if I was there with you?”
I have been informed by a couple of friends how after becoming sexually involved with someone new their interest started to wane because they stopped sexting, whereas lovers who occasionally engaged them stayed on their minds and had longer lasting and more fulfilling sexual relationships, I mean Since we spend all our time online and on our phones you might as well send that risky text but only if your potential partner is willing.
Sending flirty messages and sexy pictures of you to your love interest is a sure way of fanning the flames of attraction, learning about what they are into without the added awkwardness of a face to face interaction and adding a little spice to relationships.
Getting into sexting can feel like a daunting task but the possibilities are endless, first of all one has to start simple and most importantly establish that their lust interest is interested and willing to participate in this sexy internet dance, we don’t want to harass them or embarrass ourselves. Here are a couple of pointers.
Take a sexy photo: now sexy is subjective, it can range from a picture of feet in pretty shoes to a lingerie shot to a topless photo, what is key is that the picture was taken specifically for that person, there are few things as denigrating as seeing the “for your eyes only photo” doing the rounds on Twitter. Take precautionary measures like shielding your face/identity and sending to people you trust, try to ensure that the recipient is being careful and safeguarding your privacy.
Insert yourself into the conversation: “what would you do if I was there with you?” and it’s variants have been rebuffed and flung into nether lands of overzealous thirst but when worded right it wins. Steer the conversation only when you see an opening to flirt, no one likes an over enthusiastic texter please. Eg, when she says she’s had an exhausting day tell her you wish you could be there to rub her feet.
Reminisce: what’s better than nostalgia? A repeat performance. Remind them of that thing they did that you liked, if there’s something you did that they enjoyed? Promise them an encore.
Compliment their body and skills: a partner who feels sexy with you is a comfortable partner and that equals the best results, tell them why a body part is your favorite and how good they look. Be vocal and in awe of that little trick she did, she will go a little harder next time.
I imagine with the distribution of Covid19 vaccines and easing of lockdown and everything slowly going back to normal sexting and phone sex is about to be pushed to the back burner in favor of physical encounters, nevertheless don’t be quick to fling it away, think of it as foreplay before foreplay
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Winnie Dashe is a fashion designer with a penchant for books and storytelling. She enjoys living vicariously through other people's relationship tales and this is reflected in the topics she choses to write about. When she isn’t asking questions and making notes about people’s affairs, she is trying to perfect a food recipe or fabric hunting.