You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life but by realizing who you are at the deepest level”
– Eckhart Tolle.
Throughout the history of mind kind, these three words, “Who am I?” have sent poets to the blank page, philosophers to the Agra, and seekers to the oracles. Many of us are heroes to society, accomplished in different ways but with a fundamental wound that hinders us from achieving originality. We don’t know who we are. Of course, it is not that we do not remember our names or where we are from but we do not understand Individuality. We are in limbo about two things in particular. First is that we do not know what we are worth and the second is that we do not have a stable sense of our values or judgment. The lack of personal opinions tends to give room for the acceptance of any idea thrown at you, making us helpless before the court of public opinion. Rather than consulting an inner barometer, we would be constantly seeking validation from the outside world. Neglecting the Importance of developing a relationship with ourselves will affect how we interact with others and how we go about life.
Many things influence our connection with ourselves such as mental health, family, community, and society. We need to be kind to ourselves, no none is born with the ability to know who they are. The basic knowledge most times are gotten from our parents, families, and the environment. In the presence of the external opinions and those influenced by the environment, It is however necessary to pick the values that suit one’s self and repel the urge to take everything in.
The journey of self-discovery is not usually a smooth one but it Is necessary to intentionally try our best to understand ourselves so we can be able to diminish the tendency of uncritically accepting undesirable concepts because they are In vogue.
The practical steps below have proven to be helpful in the journey of self-discovery to bring a change in our lives and develop a growth mindset.
1. Consultation:
Consult with yourself. Spend time with yourself just as you spend time with your friends, 5 to 30 minutes should do. During your alone time, discuss with yourself. You can choose to do It out loud or in your mind. Do not quit, even if it starts to feel weird, it is quite normal to feel that way. Give yourself a little time to get used to the practice. During this time, observe things about yourself, listen to all the parts of your body and inspect all aspects of your life.
Pay attention to yourself and your thoughts, feel your emotions, review your deepest feelings and search for memories of your habits, your actions, and inactions too.
2. Questioning:
Ask yourself how you are doing? Ask yourself, do I feel okay? and try your possible best to answer earnestly. You can even ask questions that seem irrelevant like do you prefer Zobo drink to tiger nut juice? What truly makes me happy? What triggers me? Does art Interest me? Do I love my body?
Having a conversation with the image in a full-length mirror helps us grow more comfortable with our physical selves. Some may find being naked intimidating but over time it will only help you get more comfortable with who you are. To experience positive growth, we have no choice but to learn how to love ourselves. It empowers us.
3. Connection:
Become your best friend. Try to understand why the answer to the question you have asked is what it is. Expose the relationship between your environment and the answers given. Just like knowing others, knowing oneself takes time. With consistent deliberation and observation, you can achieve the connection you need for personal growth and relationship with others. There Is always the option to seek help from a professional at times when necessary.
Having gotten accustomed to this, you will no longer feel inferior, believe anything said about you, or have your values controlled by public opinion. You will become better at saying no to the things that are not suiting for you.
Aristotle once said, “knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom”.
